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The seemingly endless feeling of 'not being good enough'
Feeling not being good enough is one of the most common mental states many of us go through in different areas of our life. Sometimes it manifests as ‘an imposter syndrome’ at work or in other times as ‘low self-confidence or self-esteem’ or an inability to take decisions. Often, we try to resolve this problem by trying to achieve more and prove to one and all that ‘I am good enough’.
We believe, the way to get out of this feeling is to fill our proverbial cupboards with achievements and milestones. But once you get to a self-fixed milestone, you may feel worthy for a while and then a sense of inadequacy returns. It makes you believe that you need to achieve more and more to feel good about yourself. Obviously, this solution does not seem to work.
The feeling of not being enough is an internal problem and not directly connected to your achievements.
This feeling can be likened to a black hole. The more you throw things in, more targets reached, more money made, more promotions achieved etc., the black hole swallows it, you are still empty and the feeling gets worse. We are stuck in a need to keep reinforcing our worthiness by constantly moving the goal posts. Still, the black hole doesn’t go away.
The real problem lies in our inability to process, receive, or integrate ‘what we are’’. We pick up the inability to appreciate ourselves as we are, from our past experiences of either being rejected or unacknowledged. So, we keep trying repeatedly to prove to individuals from the past, or sadly to oneself, that we are worthy.
To truly feel fulfilled, you need to see that it is not about ‘achieving more.’ It is about learning to appreciate ‘what you are, what you have already done or doing’.
Start today: notice and integrate your achievements however small or big they may be.
Do not discount the compliments and appreciations that come your way.
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